Frozen Middle
by lifeinapizzabox
Summary: Newt Geiszler grew up on the slopes of Killington. Ze has been skiing since ze could walk. Naturually, ze is appalled to find out Hermann Gottlieb had never skied a day in his life. Newt takes him on a weekend trip to teach him the wonderful art of skiing and goofing off in the snow.


_**A/N: **__This is my first attempt at writing genderqueer Newt and bigender Hermann. Please point out any errors I may have made as I want this to be accurate. Also, Hermann's leg injury here is at a level that he can still ski in this as long as he isn't super aggressive. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy._

Newt hums tunelessly in the bathroom, running zir gel-coated hands through zir hair. There was really no point in doing this as Hermine had been so keen to remind zir. It would be squashed flat by a hat the second they went outside.

"You see, Herm–"

"No nicknames," Hermine protested from the attached bedroom. She sat at the desk, idly flipping through the pages of one of zir many notebooks filled with kaiju sketches.

"–I am thinking about that time between now and going outside," ze continued, completely unphased by Hermine's objection.

"You're the one who told me 'Dress warm. Don't worry about anything else, you'll be all bundled up anyway.'"

"You will look amazing with helmet hair. When I take off my helmet, I'm a wreck. This just makes it easier to fix."

"Won't it just hold the shape of the helmet better?" Hermine asked. She looked up as Newt walked into the room, hair complete. At least ze hadn't gone as far as makeup today. Sure it was 15 degrees outside, but judging by the mass of supplies ze had dumped in front of Hermine this morning it was sure to get sweated and smudged off by the end of the first run.

"It does look good," Hermine said, standing up and walking towards Newt. She walked up behind zir, putting a hand on zir hip, tucking her thumb under the hem of zir skintight shirt. "We could stay in and enjoy it," she muttered into zir neck.

"Not getting out of this one, dude."

Hermine lets her hand fall at the word, taking a step back. She could deal with zir calling her "Herm." She let Newt help her with makeup on certain days. Ze was just the one person who knew the full truth, and it still shook her when ze slipped up. She knew she couldn't blame her; it was Newt, it was harmless, but she still stepped away.

Newt turned around immediately. Ze reached for Hermine's hand, squeezing it lightly. Her hand stayed limp in zir own.

"Hermine. I'm sorry, babe. I really am. I wasn't thinking."

Hermine nodded, removing her hand from zirs and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. She was new to this, so was Newt. The relationship, the openness, it was all new. Ze had been so good, but ze was careless. Ze opened zir mouth and let words spill out, never worrying about their consequences. It was the total opposite of Hermine who calculated and reviewed every sentence, ever observant and analytic. She had never slipped up. She had never–

"You okay?" Ze sat next to her, putting a hand around her shoulder. She leaned into it.

"Yeah." She took a deep breath. They were different. She could never date someone just like her anyway. This was right. She didn't want to mess this up. "You ready?"

Newt looked at her closely. Hermine looked at zir collarbone for a moment, but met zir eyes after a minute. Seeming satisfied ze stood, grabbing one of the sets of skis and poles from where they leaned next to the door.

"I can't believe you grew up in Germany and never learned to ski," ze shook zir head. "It's truly embarrassing. So many excellent mountains. This just won't compare."

This meant Killington, Vermont. After the collapse of the portal, the final jaeger team had been disbanded. They scattered throughout the world, each taking on projects dedicated to preparing the world for not just future attacks but for exploring what was out there.

Newt and Hermine had both ended up in Boston. Newt was on a team for better understand the kaiju and the information they had gained from the last drift. Who was cloning, why were they attacking, and most importantly, were they going try and attack again? Hermine was on the physics behind the travel. Teams of scientists to work alongside and to get assistance from. It was hard to believe 5 short months ago they were the only two left on these projects.

When the first snow fell, Newt could barely contain zirself. All day, it was about skiing, snowmen, and snowball fights. Ze pestered Hermine constantly about taking a day off to go up north, to visit the mountain ze had spent every winter weekend of zir childhood skiing, sledding, and snowboarding on. It was then she confessed to not know how to ski. Naturally, Newt took it as a challenge and had them a hotel booked the next day for the end of the month.

"I have nothing to compare it to," Hermine replied, awkwardly scooping up her own skis. She juggled them for a moment, trying to grab her poles but having no luck. Newt walked over chuckling and smoothly picked up her poles, holding all four in one hand.

"Thanks," she muttered, still struggling to keep the skis together. This was going to be a long day.

Newt stood at the bottom of the bunny slope, watching as Hermine tried to copy the turns ze had just made. She makes it to the bottom, a look of concentration mixed with frustration on her face.

"This is useless," she groaned, her goggles making her look like she was upset about being trapped in a fishbowl rather than on a mountain.

"You're doing great, trust me," ze reassured her. "I think you're ready for the chairlift."

"You won't even let me use poles," she grumbled with a terrified look at the list. "How am I supposed to do that if I can't even use poles? Snowboarders don't use poles. Why can't I try that?"

"You wouldn't last a second standing." Ze was doing all ze could to not laugh.

"I would too," she replied indignantly.

"You are such a skier." Ze shook his head. "Now let's get you in that lift."

Ze skated behind her. Newt made the mistake of giving Hermine a push to help her make it over. The look she gave zir as a response made it clear ze was not to do it again.

"Poles would make this a lot easier."

"You need to learn to skate."

"Why?"

"Helps your skiing."

"Pizza, French fry. Whatever you call it, it's still physics."

"Then get on the lift." Hermine didn't respond, looking at the swinging chairs.

"I can do that," she said after a minute of examination.

"Let's see it," ze chuckled.

"After you," she replied. Newt pushed zirself forward into the queue. It was early afternoon on a weekday, so the beginners' lift was, fortunately, deserted. Ze waited for Hermine to awkwardly push herself next to zir.

"You're going to have to let me push you now. If you stagger forward like that, you are never going to fall before the chair even gets close."

"Fine, fine," Hermine replied. She was staring at the lift intently.

"Go, go, go," ze said, pushing her forward. Ze reached out and grabbed the back of her coat, stopping her just in time for the lift to sweep their feet out from under them. Hermine scrambled, looking for something to hang onto.

"You definitely would have dropped your poles by now," ze commented, pulling the bar down over their laps.

"This isn't helping at all," Hermine complained, pushing hard against it to keep her back flush against the back of the seat. "This will not prevent us from falling. One gust of wind and–"

"Calm down," Newt said. "We're moving really slowly. You aren't going to fall off."

Hermine looked at zir, her goggles fogging up. Ze could make out the familiar look of worry and panic even through the moisture, though.

"How do you know?"

"I won't let you."

Hermann stripped off his ski clothes as quickly as he could. Sports bra, panties, all of it had to go. He stepped into the shower, letting the hot water warm and ease his tired muscles. Washing was first. He was disgusting, unsure if it was because of the workout that was skiing or just sweating out of terror.

About halfway through, he realized he had forgotten something incredibly important. Clothes. He shut off the water, the suds from his shampooed hair dripping onto his shoulders.

"Newt?" He called, his voice echoing in the bathroom. No response. "Newt? Newton Geiszler!" He tried louder. A few seconds later, ze comes bursting into the bathroom.

"You okay, Hermine? Need me to get in there with you?" ze asked, only the thin plastic shower curtain between them. Hermann could practically see the stupid grin on zir face. Always laughing at zir own jokes.

"Um… I–" He took a deep breath. "Hermann now," he muttered, barely able to get the words out.

"Oh, of course." He heard a small clatter which made him think Newt had been sitting on the toilet for some reason. "I'll – I'll be right back."

Hermann turned the water back on, rinsing out his hair. He heard the door open and close again. Newt never said a word, but when Hermann shuts off the water for good, a pile of clothes sits on the counter. He began dressing and soon comes to the realization that these clothes were all but the same ones he had on earlier. A different cut – Newt had something for guessing sizes apparently – but definitely made for warmth. With the distinct lack of other options, Hermann sighed and tugged on the shirt before heading out.

"I know I left you in charge of packing ski gear for me," he spotted Newt in zir own long johns, "but _I _at least packed myself other clothes. You couldn't have gone for those?"

"We're going out again!" ze declared. Ze produced two tubes from behind the room's small couch. "Sledding! It's the perfect night. Just cold enough so the hill will be nice and slick without being a pure sheet of ice. It's awesome, Hermann."

"No. I was out there once. I refuse."

Less than 20 minutes later, they were at what Newt dubbed zir "secret childhood spot" and "the best sled hill in all of Vermont." It looked steep. It looked dangerous. Hermann tried to protest, but Newt, as per usual, decided that ze knew what was best for Hermann, and that was experiencing all the things he had "missed out on" in his childhood. He had a feeling sledding would not be the last thing on his list.

"This is a bad idea."

"You'll be fine."

"Shouldn't we have helmets?"

"Nah."

"You made me wear a helmet for skiing."

"This is safe."

"It seems really dangerous."

"It's fun. I promise." Newt pulls the furry hood up over Hermann's head. "Would I put you in danger?"

"We drifted with a kaiju together."

"A _baby_ kaiju. And if memory serves, you volunteered for that."

"I may have, but I would never volunteer for something as infantile as this."

"On three!" Newt puts a hand on Hermann's back. "One, two, three!"

Before he could get one more word of protest in, Newt had wrapped zir arm around his waist and pulled him onto the tube. They took off down the hill, Newt scrambling for a handhold on the other side of Hermann. They whipped down the hill, eventually slowing to a stop. Newt rolled off, tugging Hermann into the snow with zir.

"What'd you think?" Newt asked, beaming up at him. Somehow, Hermann found himself on top of zir. He leaned down and kissed zir, one of his feet still stuck in the center of the tube.

"That was amazing," he breathed against Newt's mouth.

"You're telling me. Why did I even try skiing?"

"Again?" Hermann asked, kicking his leg free of the tube.

"Well, you'll have to let me up first."

Hermann nodded and tried to maneuver off without slipping. He failed and rolled into the fresh powder, a large mass of it inviting itself into the back of his coat. He shivered, scrambling to his feet and beating at his coat to try and get the snow out.

"Let me help you, you dork," Newt said, standing with ease. It was clear ze grew up on the side of the mountain, covered in snow. Zir hands expertly worked the snow out of his coat, lingering for a second at certain points, causing Hermann to shudder again.

"Back to the top," ze declared. Ze grabbed the rope attached to the tube and started running up the hill. Hermann climbing after zir, laughing and gasping in cold air, and demanding Newt slow down as he didn't know how much more his knee would take.

They continued this way, up and down together, the second tube completely neglected.

"This is how skiing feels," Newt said. They were lying on their backs in the snow, staring up at the stars. There had to be thousands. They were the same stars ze watched zir whole childhood. They were completely different. They held so much more.

"What do you mean?" Hermann asked, pressing closer to zir. They had collapsed here, panting and exhausted after what seemed to be hours.

"The freedom. Completely light. There is a rush. Boarding has control, theatrics. But skiing is the balance of power and fun. You'll see. I'll make sure."

"It can't be this good." Hermann replied after thinking on that for a minute. It couldn't be more than 10 degrees out, yet Newt had no desire to go in. Maybe Hermann was right.

"Thank you," Hermann said. They had been lost in the silence and in the stars. It could have been seconds or minutes. It felt like they were alone in the universe. It was incredible to believe that ze could ever feel that way, that someone could help zir. Ze felt like ze would always be chained to earth because of the kaijus. Ze had felt small for months. Hermann had helped zir more than ze would ever admit. The bickering, the laughing. Their friendship, their dating.

"Why?" ze asked. That was wrong. It was supposed to be "you're welcome" or "it's nothing" or even "for what."

"For this." Their gloved fingers were intertwined, awkwardly keeping hold of the other. It shouldn't work. What Hermann said didn't make sense. It did. It didn't. Newt didn't care.

They were silent again. Hermann. Newt. The stars.

"Why don't we live together?" Newt asked, turning zir head to look at Hermann. He stayed looking at the stars.

"It's been six months. We worked together. We could never get past our differences. We never…" Hermann trailed off.

"Those are stupid reasons." Newt decided not to press the matter. There wasn't anything to say. "You're over at my place all the time. You refused to live anywhere but a hellhole. You had some stupid reason, but you know it is because you sleep at my place more often than not."

"Newt."

"Move in with me. It'd be amazing, Herm. Think about it."

"I can't. I don't–"

"Why not?" ze asked. Ze was hurt. Ze tried to keep zir tears from falling, but it was a losing battle. Not sadness. Anger, frustration. They had been through so much. Now this shit.

Hermann was meeting zir gaze now, and as much as ze wanted to ze couldn't look away.

"Newt. Please…"

"Why, Hermann? Give me some–"

"I love you," Hermann blurted out. He looked mortified, and Newt giggled. Ze hiccupped, choking on the remnants of zir tears.

"You love me?" ze repeated, hiccupping and giggling. Hermann must think… who knew what Hermann thought.

"Yes," he hesitated this time. "I- I love you and this is exactly what I was afraid of."

"This?" Newt couldn't stop laughing. Ze knew it was wrong, but Hermann's face. Ze turned to look at the stars, trying to get zirself back under control. "Why this?" ze managed a minute later, only remnants of the laughter escaping zir lips.

"Because you don't–" Newt took a deep breath, rasping and obnoxious, cutting into whatever Hermann had been saying.

"I love Hermann Gottlieb," ze hollered. The sound carried down the hill, and it made Newt start laughing again. "I am madly in love with Hermann Gottlieb." Ze rolled to zir side, looking at Hermann. Ze wasn't sure if he was mortified or stunned.

"Did you think this was one sided?"

"I didn't know."

"I asked you to move in." Ze was laughing again, and Hermann joined in this time. Newt pulled him in for a kiss, their universe of echoing professions of love, frustration, and laughter blurring together around them.

"So will you move in with me already?" ze asked, laying on top of him.

"Hmm," Hermann muttered. "I have a lot of stuff."

"I have a lot of space."

"Well, I guess it makes sense."

Newt kissed him once more.

"I love you, Herm."

"I love you too, Newt."


End file.
